Appreciating everything that is great about the best thing that has happened in British Football
I spoke to Mario earlier… He started going on about how he thought we didn’t need China’s help before telling me that his favourite was Sweet and Sour chicken with egg fried rice and chicken satay starter.
Aren’t we the lucky ones. Our knight in baby blue Armour features twice this morning…
If you were going to compare Mario to any politician in the world it would either be the leader of the Monster Raving Lunatic Party, or Silvio Berlusconi.
It transpires this morning that Mario is now in a relationship with one of the girls who was part of Silvio’s famous orgies.
Raffaella Fico, Balotelli’s latest beau, is a basket short of a picnic too by the sounds of things.
She once tried to sell her virginity for a million Euro’s, and even broached the subject of airing her first time on television.
She also once dated Christiano Ronaldo. She’s definitely chosen the right footballer if you ask us.
On a second note, Mario was caught popping into a local corner shop to buy some sweets in Manchester with Raffaella.
Fortunately that isn’t the main story. While in there he was caught flicking through a soft porn magazine.
LAD is the only way we can even begin to describe him.
Both stories can be found on the Sun Website this morning.
HAS ANY ONE SEEN OUR HERO DO ANYTHING TODAY!
Footballer Journalist James Daly has written a fantastic song all about our Hero…
You need to check this out.
If they provide fantastic stories like the one that we are currently getting then I think they are great.
And don’t rush back into your house to grab a suitcase of cash, okay?!
This mornings sun has obviously taken some inspiration for us with a brief summary of his career.
Includes a short piece by Adrian Chiles why he DOESN’T like Balotelli. What a muppet.
Reporter:”was that your best game for city?”
Mario: “all my season was shit, can I say that?”
Nic Stevenson who seems to be talented at everything he puts his hand to, and probably some stuff he hasn’t, has written about his favorite 2 Balotelli moments.
Super Mario braves the bullies
Most people in the UK who love Super Mario fell in love with him the day they heard the story of him meeting a young fan skiving off school outside Carrington and took him, and his mum, back to school in his Masseratti. Good story so far, but it gets the special Super Mario edge when you find out he then marched the pair into the headmaster’s office, had the bully dragged out of the class he was in and hectored the boys until they made it up…
http://www.metro.co.uk/sport/oddballs/862875-mario-balotelli-takes-truant-boy-back-to-school-and-gives-bullies-ticking-off
Balotelli beats the Big Issue
Apparently Balotelli hasn’t heard of payroll giving, but likes to try to get to the root of the problem of homelessness in Manchester - by giving a homeless guy waiting outside a casino in the City Centre £1000k of his winnings after a night on the tables!
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3536493/Mario-Balotelli-wins-25000-then-gives-1000-to-a-tramp.html
If you want to read or see more of Nic he can be found here
Nic wrote a book about football and relationships called Two Halves, you can read a sample and buy it online from Smashwords (www.smashwords.com/books/view/15969) or iBooks (http://ax.itunes.apple.com/gb/book/two-halves/id380576976#ls=1).
His landscape and fine art photography website: www.nicstevenson.com
His music blog: www.shotwithsound.com
He is also on Twitter: www.twitter.com/nicstevenson (@nicstevenson) and Facebook: www.facebook.com/nicstevenson
Even when I have had bad moments they have supported me. But I don’t care what people say about me. I am focused on my football, my manager, girlfriends and my family.
from todays Guardian… Girlfriends?!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/oct/24/mario-balotelli-face-of-fireworks-safety?CMP=twt_gu
Also a bit more about his heroics in protecting the children from Manchester from burning there bathrooms down.
I am absolutely heartbroken to see this has sold out. Within mere minutes of discovering it online and working out where I could cut costs in my general living to afford such an item it was sold out.
Anyone who managed to get one before they sold out, send us a picture and we’ll sort out a prize for you
picture the scene…It’s pre-season, you’re on tour in the states and the most expensive club in the world has signed a gaggle of big money mentalists to go in search of titles and trophies. It’s time for the biggest mentalist of them all to impress the manager and re-pay him for all the faith he’s had in you since day one…..
.Unfortunately Mario ‘Ho-Down My Pants’ Balotelli had completely different ideas and decided to do a Spinarooney back heel shot against LA Galaxy. This quite clearly did him no favours as he was immediately subbed off by Mancini. The making of a special player
‘I’ve just heard a Mario Balotelli story that betters Tesco & the fireworks…OK, so his mum’s over from Italy, asks the cleaner if she has everything she needs. Cleaner: “No, I need all the practical things - iron etc.” Mario’s mum: “Where can we go to buy these things? Write me a list and we’ll go and buy it all” Cleaner: “John Lewis.” So Mario’s ma sends him & his mates to John Lewis with a shopping list in hand…Mario returns to the house 5 hrs later…empty-handed. Cleaner: “Er, where’s the iron, iron-board etc?” Then a big John Lewis van arrives…van contains nothing from the shopping list bt the following ‘practical items’: - giant trampoline, Scalextric, 2 Vespas, table tennis set’ -
Via @ChrisDolan on Twitter.’
Police - “Why have you got £25,000 in cash on the front seat of your car”
Mario - “Because I can…
